LANDFILL: How to Dress Well

posted Tuesday Aug 5th, 2014

Welcome to the new recycling section of VoT where we offer divisive insight to the world of mainstream drivel being passed off as "Indie Rock" to the brainwashed masses, and boy are you in for a treat! But please don't think this is going to be some great dissection of this soul-baring guy thinking he's onto something new in any way, shape, or form, this is all about the reality of what makes this artist so much better than 88% of the other people making music today. How does that feel?

This encouragement is exactly what makes us weak as humans, this acknowledgement that it's better to just stay on the same treaded, safe path that keeps us dim-witted, dull and in-line as a society. The type of low hum used in the industrial revolution to keep workers' heads down and to mindlessly continue to pursue the dreams of their owners, and never themselves. This music from How To Dress Well isn't freedom, it's a com-modified cancer of ingenuity, and a growing sound sore that just won't go away on it's own.

Yes, How to Dress Well are a malignant cyst on the face of modern music, barely even disguised as "pop" and one of the least inventive and maliciously unimaginative creative sources of pap you will encounter this year, or the next. So for the love of humanity and the respect of your future generations (imagine being caught 20 years from now in a photo wearing a 'How to Dress Well' t-shirt?), please excuse this shiny turd from the dinner table, and return it to it's rightful place in the litter box, before you lose all self-respect, entirely.

You don't have to fall for this shit, people, seriously. Let VoT be your inner voice here, this is the audio equivalent to wearing MC Hammer pants, or taking the singing career of Samantha Fox to heart, it's just not how we as humans were supposed to evolve, and if you're feeling the pressure, just believe in yourself, "you don't have to listen to this shit."