Chaos In Tejas Hits Austin This Week

Pink Reason Live at Stork Club in Oakland 2007 photo by <a href=
Pink Reason Live at Stork Club in Oakland 2007 photo by Canderson
posted Wednesday May 14th, 2008

Timmy Test Press (aka the Texas Turd) has once again assembled an international who’s-who of punk and hardcore bands for a three day bomb-blast of tall can rattling, sun-burn fuck-uppery in the only city in Texas worth a shit, muhfuckin Austin.

Kicking it off Thursday on the inside stage at Emo’s is Iron Age. Imagine injecting beef hormones into “Age of Quarrel,” this mosh machine is ready for lightning riding and home turf fisticuffs. You won’t need a parka for this blizzard. On the other side of the coin is a d-beat noise assault from Utica NY, No Fucker. These silver backs will be squealing wheelies, toppling full stacks, and crushing the “dis” section of your record collection, and maybe even snorting it. Next up, get some meat and potatoes hardcore double-kicking your brain in w/Motorhead-isms from beyond the 49th parallel. It’s Under Pressure, dudes!

If you’re not warmed up yet, Fy Fan will get you cranked. Totalitar's grandsons vacation in USA-land for the second time this year, all the way from Malmo, Sweden. Then, get ready for ghoulish jack-boots trampling all “BINGO” sympathizers begging curbside with riffs that survive knife fights from locals, World Burns To Death. Headlining Thursday night is Hard Skin. Bangers and mash from across the pond drop a close shave for all the cunts in braces. Simultaneously on the outside stage (with a separate ticket price) are the purveyors of the penis swastika, Pink Reason, riding dirty from Columbus, OH to mainline some Jandek, and plenty of bad decisions. Next up, locals the Strange Boys help envision post urine swilling Black Lips in their days before Conan. In the certified “fuck yes” category, local figurehead Roky Erickson descends from the 13th floor to drip lysergic riffage from his third eye. First ever show at Emos’ so tip this chalice of ambrosia, you two headed dog.

Kicking off Friday is Sacred Shock. These local mutants put your poser ass on “blast” and crank out the brutal punk that could only lurk in the darkest sectors of the mind. Followed by Brain Handle, Pittsburgh’s pill-popping pizza-puking punkers sure to punish pose-dawgs and pussies alike.
The always adored Hatred Surge are next, offering a bleak outlook with plenty of harsh negativity in the way only a truly loving couple can birth. Cut from the same cloth is Iron Lung. An absolutely punishing Northwest violence duo taking huge power craps on hippies with stop-on-a-dime precision. This shit will make you wish you weren’t such a wimp. The brutality continues with Straight Jacket Nation, whooping your ass like an unopened Fosters can nestled in a tube sock making ozone sized dents in your paper-thin skull. These Melbourne boys deliver no-frills hardcore by the boatload.

Changing gears but not losing an ounce of intensity or passion is the Marked Men. Denton Texas’ nice guys in charge truly unite punx n’ skinz like messengers of a greater good with mass pogo and post set “I love you mom, having a great time” euphoric t-mobile calls. Lament the passing of one of this era’s true high water marks. As if you haven’t had enough, Sunderland’s finest, Leatherface chainsaw massacre-ize those daft enough to listen tin-eared to that “HWM” side of the split. Complete with Lemmy-esque vocals and more hooks than a bait shop. Wrapping things up on Friday are Midwest belly-rock legends Dillinger Four. Watch them kick the shit out of pint glass sized shots, and paint-by-numbers pop punk. Clothing optional (take a cab home).

After your 40th taco and your ass is right raw from the lone-star beer shits, pull it together for the final day. Those tardy will miss on Austin’s newest sensation, Deskonocidos. This band is catchier than those stubborn genital warts you brought back from boys town. En espanol! Second band of the day is Repercussions, a bonafide super-group tanning your hide with more proficiency than 1000 Texas suns. Not for the fucking weak. Stay tuned for Invasion, D-beat Spaniards maiming with plenty of pomp and certain death. You should be reeling by the time Inmates take the stage. These Clevo fuck-ups will rattle cages and frighten the norms with bombastic hate and feedback venom. Don’t be surprised if your half-wit second cousin from Dubuque crawls out of the woodwork for the most recognized band in modern punk. The bird soar will soar high again. Yes we’re talking about Tragedy. After you’ve put the glue bag down and aren’t creeping everyone out get back inside for Crude. Blistering Japanese legends grace this turd-of-a-country with no holds barred ferocity. Better charge your hair young waster; for Hakodate City came to fuck shit up. Jump off the stage/flip off your dad.

Shutting down the fest in great aplomb is the mighty Los Crudos. Before you photocopy a tear-soaked zine written in haste about their previous reunion and how they must now be reaching for loot, get it straight! Chi-town rippers play for the punks with all proceeds going to local charities. If you don’t know now, you never will.

check out the full lineup right HERE